Couldn't Save You From The Start
by maddiethurowthealchemist
Summary: RoyEd. What happens when Ed starts to act depressed, and Roy is worried sick? Warnings: BoyxBoy, Suicide, and Character Death. Just a quick fic I came up with. Please R&R and thank you for all the support!


Couldn't Save You From The Start

This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't what anyone wanted. I didn't want to be here on this cold day, standing in a cemetery . I wasn't visiting Hughes grave. Edward Elric.. Died. Died. That perfect blonde kid I fell in love with was gone. I couldn't ever save him. Ed had gone through so much pain and hell growing up.  
I feel that I caused some of the hell in his life. He still faced this when he became a State Alchemist.  
Ed was always stubborn as hell, but he always appeared to be very happy. But the past few months,  
he started acting...different. He was more tired during work, and he didn't want to talk. He seemed more irritable and distant. He always wore long sleeves and never lifted them. I ended up finding out Edward took a blade to his beautiful skin. I told him he could die and I told him not to do it again.  
He said: "Ok, god Colonel, calm down." I wasn't going to fight with him but on the inside I was so upset that he would do that to himself. He was so perfect. And still is. The hours, days, and months passed by, and Ed had only become more depressed. He always tried to partake in reckless behavior,  
like when I sent him on missions, he never tried to fight someone off. He would take some cuts and brusies and acted like it was nothing. He was even more and more depressed every day. He didn't know,  
but I was dying on the inside seeing him so depressed and being self-destructive. He didn't do a very good job hiding his cuts the second time, but I knew he wouldn't talk about it. I kept worrying. So,  
one day last week, Ed didn't show up to work. He never called in. I figured he was sleeping in, so I didn't have to think he was dead. I didn't ever want to think about it. I spent about half the day waiting for him to call in, but then Alphonse showed up around 2:00, and he came in, crying. I knew that wouldn't mean anything good. "Alphonse, what's wrong?" I tried to act fine, but I was panicking.  
I knew Ed did something. "I-I came home and Ed wouldn't wake up! He wasn't breathing! He's dead,  
Roy!" he cried out, collapsing into my arms. I slowly started to rub his back, hoping he would calm down. I didn't want to believe any of this. I wanted to believe all of this was just a nightmare and I would wake up, but this was what it was. It was reality. And reality is a cruel thing. He asked me to go back to the house with him to get Ed. When I got there, sure enough, Alphonse was right.  
Ed was laying on the floor, and an empty bottle of pills lay next to him. No, several empty bottles.  
He looked so peaceful. I asked Alphonse if I could have a moment alone and he left. I looked at Ed,  
and brushed his beautiful blonde hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ear. His body was so lifeless. So peaceful. "E-Ed..I should've done something. I should've helped. I should've stopped you!  
But now your gone...Ed... Please come back to me! Please!" I held his cold hands in mine, hoping something would happen. A miracle. But it is what it is. I don't want to accept it, but I have to face reality. "Ed.. I love you. I never said it and I should have! I love you..." I said, kissing him, and holding his hand one last time. I sat there crying, but soon, they took his body. I was a wreck. I went home and I couldn't eat or sleep. I laid in bed at night, talking, hoping Ed would respond. "Ed... why? Why did you do this?!" I never got an answer, and I cried and cried. When I managed to get a tiny bit of sleep, I woke up and I thought I saw Ed, but I knew I was just halloucinating. I thought I heard his voice, felt his touch. That happened over and over and the nights were long, which eventually lead up to today. His funeral is over. I want him back. I'm going to miss everything. "E-Ed.. I miss you. I will miss seeing your beautiful face every day, and you being stubborn as hell... and you getting mad if someone called you short... I'll miss all of you." I thought for awhile, crying. "W-Wait Ed... Maybe I won't have to miss it. Because I can see it again." I said, getting up and running home. I ran to the cabinet and did the same thing. I grabbed bottles and bottles of pills, and took all of them. I laid down, waiting. "Wait for me Ed..." I said, closing my eyes and slept for the last time. Everything was black. But in the distance, I saw a beautiful blonde boy. I saw him. I saw the Edward I love. I ran to him, and picked him up and held him in my arms. "Ed.. My beautiful Ed.." I said, touching his face, and kissing his cheek. "Roy... I heard you talking to me. We don't need to worry anymore. We're both pain free. Happy. And I love you so much Roy." Ed said, crying tears of joy. I kissed him and we laid down together, hands intertwined, hearts connected. Ed and I are no longer in pain. It's just us together. Maybe I couldn't save him, but I saw him again. And thats all I ever needed.

A/N: I quickly wrote this while I was riding on a train. How was it? I didn't really like it, but please R&R! All reviews are appriciated greatly! Thank you for all the support!  
-Maddiethurowthealchemist 


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